If I Were President, There’d Be Zero Tolerance
When Greg Luther becomes President, the unemployment problem will be fixed overnight. You may or may not know this but the REAL unemployment rate is more than double the numbers they actually talk about. The reason is simply because after 6 months of job hunting, they consider you to be out of the work force and no longer looking for a real job.
Here are the new laws: #1, When you apply for any type of government assistance including unemployment, welfare, etc. you must first turn in your Play Station or other video game device. #2, You must immediately disconnect all social media accounts. Since these are the two biggest reasons they don’t do anything productive in life, they have to disappear immediately. Each person will be audited for these things once per week and if they are busted with either one, benefits are cut off, you get an immediate 10 days in jail and you are forced to pay 100% restitution. The jail won’t hurt your agenda because you don’t even have a job. By the way, if anyone is able to turn you in for breaking these two rules, they get a $1,000 finder’s fee. That’s a lot cheaper than us paying the loser every month. Come get your government thank you for ridding the country of bums.
Next, we are more than happy to assist these struggling folks for a period of up to 6 months. As a side note, that is way too freakin’ long but let’s give them 6 months. After that 6 month period, you have one of 4 doors you can walk through. Army, Navy, Air Force or Marines. Pick any door you’d like. We will house you, we will employ you, we will teach you a trade and you’ll do something to help society.
So now we’ve fixed the unemployment problem and we’ve fixed the military recruiting problem. I think you’ll find that when you stop making it easy for folks to be lazy, they’ll quit all of the lame excuses pretty quickly. I’ve personally had some extremely rough times in my life and never once have I ever applied for any type of help. It bothers me to see people standing in line for Obama money, then bitching that the lines are too long and they don’t want to wait for over an hour for free money. Look dumbass, most people wait over 40 hours every week for the money they get. It’s all day, every day. PLUS drive time to and from their workplace.
A lot of people would say this seems a little rough. In reality, it’s only rough if you are lazy. I went to the 8th grade and quit. Plus I’m an asshole. And I could get a job anywhere within hours. I’d never be unemployed for 2 days. So yes, it’s supposed to be uncomfortable and “tough”. If you don’t like it, get off your ass and go get a job. Then we have a strong economy with people that help us, not hurt us. Ok that’s done, what’s next on our agenda?